Dear Carley,

Lisa M.

Lisa,
I have a neighbor who is a total fitness nut. While my kids and I are on the front lawn staring at snails or describing animals we see in the clouds (read: sedentary), she’s mountain-biking or power-walking by with her kids in tow. Whenever I see her, the feeling creeps up: Why don’t I do more physical activity with the kids? She’s a much better mom than me. Now, I could choose to use this opportunity to feel awful about myself, but instead, I’ve learned to embrace this fact: We are all individuals, and our parenting styles are driven by our unique interests, strengths, talents and passions. For example, I love cooking with my kids and as a result, they’re adventurous with food. My 4 year old asked for extra basil on her grilled zucchini the other night, and my 8 year old makes really good salad dressing from scratch.

I think the “good enough mom” idea is well-intentioned: it helps moms realize that they don’t have to be perfect to raise happy children. The problem is, I don’t know a single mom who enjoys describing herself that way! Instead, I like to promote the idea of “true to you mom,” where you live by the passions, talents and interests that you have, and celebrate how those things get modeled to your children. Do more of what you love, then notice how interactions with your kids are affected. Those are the moments that make you so much more than “good enough.”