(Warning, not supportive or pleasant.)

Dear you,

Everything’s great right now, right? Your husband’s a good guy, kids are healthy, there’s food on the table, and the house is clean enough so that no one sees the mess.  You should be so happy.

So why are you so frustrated and upset all the time?

Don’t you know how lucky you are to have all these choices?  That you’re able to pursue work or stay home if you want to?  No matter that it feels impossible to keep up, and like everyone else is doing it better.  There’s probably something wrong with you, and it’s better just to keep working at being “better”.

Maybe if you enrolled the kids in that karate class, or got that cute stroller, or picked up the toys more, or bought a sexy nursing bra, or lost 15 pounds, or started a meditation practice, or did more volunteer work, or learned how to use your digital camera, or started buying more organic groceries you’d feel like other people thought you were a better mom, and that might make you feel better.  If you need more ideas on how to improve, I’ll supply you with them throughout the day and night.  Happy to help.

Speaking of help, shouldn’t you know how to do this motherhood thing without assistance?  Look around— so many of your friends are doing just fine on their own.  Don’t bother anyone by asking them to share the load.  You don’t want anyone to know you’re struggling, do you? You might as well tattoo “failure” on your forehead!

And what’s with all the forgetfulness, the missed meetings, the tardiness and the broken promises?  Some people say you’re trying to do too much, but you and I both know that the more you “do” for your kids, the better a mother you’ll be, right?

Lastly, and I’ve told you this before, there is simply no time for your hobbies or passions right now.  How are you going to be a good mom to your kids when you’re off taking time for yourself, enjoying life, feeding your soul and nurturing your marriage and friendships? How selfish! No, all your thoughts and energy should be directed at your kids, and if you’re not working, you should be right there with them.

Oh, and you should really question what kind of mother you are if all of this isn’t fulfilling you— this is what you were born to do, so you better figure out how to enjoy it!

Thanks for listening (not that you have a choice).  It’s my job to remind you how crappy you are at being a mom.  Remember: Don’t ask for help and don’t look beyond motherhood for more.  You’ll be able to rediscover yourself in, like, 18 years or so.  You can wait ’til then, right?

With love and unrelenting criticism,

Your inner-voice.

I had the idea to write this email last night as I put the finishing touches on the Perfect Moms Finish Last 6-Week course, which starts tonight.  I don’t know a mom who doesn’t talk to herself like this: It’s so corrosive and only serves to push us down, rather than help us identify out our obstacles and overcome them.  Yet we all do it— we’re all so comfortable beating ourselves down, we don’t even need anyone else to help us out?
If you’re feeling like it’s time to put an end to this self-talk madness and really, REALLY get a handle on your life, it’s not too late to register for the course. There’s just one spot left, and I want it to be yours.  After that, you’ll miss this opportunity to get all the nuts-and-bolts systems I teach to transform your life and help you take control, as well as the remedies for your Perfect Mom Disorder.

Don’t let Mrs. Inner Voice talk you out of it.  NOW is the time to invest in yourself— your family will benefit tenfold from the improvements you make to your life.

http://www.perfectmomsfinishlast.com/go.

Hope to “see” you on tonight’s call.