These days, so much of your life is password-protected. Just about every website worth visiting requires you to “Log In,” leaving you to try and remember dozens of case-sensitive codes. Either that, or every password is the name of your childhood dog, Swifty, and you’re one hack away from digital destruction. Our identities are wrapped up in these bits of information, so much so that just the other day my husband referred to me affectionately as “Carleyknob” (my Gmail username). Poor guy, his brain is buckling under the pressure.
Enter Passpack, one of the best password managers I’ve ever seen, for a bunch of reasons. It’s web-based (so you can access it anywhere, unlike those scribbled post-its you stick to your monitor), extremely secure, and it does all the work for you. I’ll walk you through a couple of it’s amazing features, and you will DEFINITELY want to sign up and start using it!
Last weekend, I fixed a batch of my famous balsamic BBQ chicken wings, toasted a big ol’ loaf of garlic bread and watched the Oscars with some friends. The kids ran around and played while the grown-ups ogled the gowns and watched the acceptance speeches.
I marveled at what it must feel like to be up there on that stage, in front of millions, accepting an award. And how gracious everyone is about accepting the Oscar on behalf of all the people in their lives who made it possible for them to achieve. My mind wandered to where I was in my business this time last year, how far I’ve come, and how many people have helped me along the way.
Now that the Perfect Moms Finish Last launch is over, the class is sold out, and the first class has started, I wanted to give a shout-out to all the fabulous people on my team who have supported me and helped me bring my products and services to you.
(sniff) I promised myself I wouldn’t cry! (sniff!)
Rebecca Buscemi, professional and fun-to-work-with virtual assistant who set up the entire PMFL Blog for both the interview series and the course. (Twitter: rbuscemi)
Sawyer Hollenshead, my blog builder and all-around secret weapon. There’s nothing he can’t do with Wordpress, and he’s quick and professional to work with.
Lana Goldenberg, marketing strategist and my social media guru, she’s a whole lotta smarts in the sweetest package. She ran a Facebook Ads campaign that helped my “I Heart Organizing Giveaway” rock! (Twitter: lanagold)
The lovely Sarah Burns, all-knowing virtual assistant and fantastic blogger, who helped me architect my product launch and handled all the minutia of the I Heart Organizing Giveaway. (Twitter: SarahBHawaii)
Josh Schuyler at Every Angle Media, fearless audio engineer who put together all 20 PMFL interviews: He took dropped calls, interrupted interviews and some baa-aad sound quality and made it all sound amazing.
Jacqui Malouf, fabulous foodie, fellow Cannuck, great actress and even better friend— that’s her beautiful voice introducing me on all the PMFL interviews.
Nicole Dionne from Primal Scream Music who was kind enough to gift me the fabulous piece of music you hear on all the PMFL interviews (I begged her to let me have it!)
and
Amy Swift, Whitney Roberts & my SMARTY inner circle of support. You guys helped me take all the junk in my head and turn it into something amazing. If you hate networking and roll your eyes at most business coaches, you should check out SMARTY.
Everything’s great right now, right? Your husband’s a good guy, kids are healthy, there’s food on the table, and the house is clean enough so that no one sees the mess. You should be so happy.
So why are you so frustrated and upset all the time?
Don’t you know how lucky you are to have all these choices? That you’re able to pursue work or stay home if you want to? No matter that it feels impossible to keep up, and like everyone else is doing it better. There’s probably something wrong with you, and it’s better just to keep working at being “better”.
Maybe if you enrolled the kids in that karate class, or got that cute stroller, or picked up the toys more, or bought a sexy nursing bra, or lost 15 pounds, or started a meditation practice, or did more volunteer work, or learned how to use your digital camera, or started buying more organic groceries you’d feel like other people thought you were a better mom, and that might make you feel better. If you need more ideas on how to improve, I’ll supply you with them throughout the day and night. Happy to help.
Speaking of help, shouldn’t you know how to do this motherhood thing without assistance? Look around— so many of your friends are doing just fine on their own. Don’t bother anyone by asking them to share the load. You don’t want anyone to know you’re struggling, do you? You might as well tattoo “failure” on your forehead!
And what’s with all the forgetfulness, the missed meetings, the tardiness and the broken promises? Some people say you’re trying to do too much, but you and I both know that the more you “do” for your kids, the better a mother you’ll be, right?
Lastly, and I’ve told you this before, there is simply no time for your hobbies or passions right now. How are you going to be a good mom to your kids when you’re off taking time for yourself, enjoying life, feeding your soul and nurturing your marriage and friendships? How selfish! No, all your thoughts and energy should be directed at your kids, and if you’re not working, you should be right there with them.
Oh, and you should really question what kind of mother you are if all of this isn’t fulfilling you— this is what you were born to do, so you better figure out how to enjoy it!
Thanks for listening (not that you have a choice). It’s my job to remind you how crappy you are at being a mom. Remember: Don’t ask for help and don’t look beyond motherhood for more. You’ll be able to rediscover yourself in, like, 18 years or so. You can wait ’til then, right?
With love and unrelenting criticism,
Your inner-voice.
I had the idea to write this email last night as I put the finishing touches on the Perfect Moms Finish Last 6-Week course, which starts tonight. I don’t know a mom who doesn’t talk to herself like this: It’s so corrosive and only serves to push us down, rather than help us identify out our obstacles and overcome them. Yet we all do it— we’re all so comfortable beating ourselves down, we don’t even need anyone else to help us out?
If you’re feeling like it’s time to put an end to this self-talk madness and really, REALLY get a handle on your life, it’s not too late to register for the course.There’s just one spot left, and I want it to be yours. After that, you’ll miss this opportunity to get all the nuts-and-bolts systems I teach to transform your life and help you take control, as well as the remedies for your Perfect Mom Disorder.
Don’t let Mrs. Inner Voice talk you out of it. NOW is the time to invest in yourself— your family will benefit tenfold from the improvements you make to your life.
Cool Mom Picks, arbiter of all things indie/eco/uber chic for baby, has a great post today about Perfect Moms Finish Last. Liz Gumbinner, editor of CMP, was also a Perfect Moms Finish Last Interviewee, and you can listen to her amazing interview along with 19 others by signing up here. We talk about everything from Bugaboo backlash, to all the crap you don’t need to buy when you have a baby, to how she’s a “Type A woman, but a Type B mom.” (How does that work, anyway?) She was GREAT to talk to, and for someone who has had a pretty impressive career in advertising before heading to the interwebs, she was very down to earth (the tagline for her personal blog, Mom 101 reads, “I don’t know what I’m doing either.” Now THAT’S someone who has her Perfect Mom Disorder under control!)
Early registration prices for the course end at midnight TONIGHT, so if you’re thinkin’ you need to get a handle on your Perfect Mom Disorder, if you’re exhausted trying to keep up appearances and your search for that ever-elusive “balance,” jump in and be a part of this very intimate, very small 6-Week course.
“Hey Carley, is this Perfect Moms Finish Last 6-week Course a lot of motivational, inspirational hoo hah fluff? Or is it actually going to help me get my life and schedule under control and help me remember to get the milk?!”
Many of you have been asking me this same question, and it’s a good one— no one could argue that being a fulfilled, satisfied, happy mom is a good thing for everyone, but sometimes you’re not in the living-a-strong-life kind of place.
Sometimes, you’re just in the please-lord-let-me-make-it-through-dinner place. What you need then are solutions, not mommy mantras or inspirational tips.
Perfect Moms Finish Last gives you BOTH inspiration and practical systems in a nice little 6-week package. Because no matter how much “me-time” you’re getting, if you keep showing up late to school pick-up, or missing client calls, or staring at the same pile of dirty laundry for a week and a half, you’re going to feel like a FAILURE. And there’s nothing that sucks more than working as hard as you are only to feel like you’re not measuring up.
It’s time for some brand-new systems that can help you regain control of and simplify your life. Plus the inspirational “hoo hah” that puts you on a path to living a life you feel totally awesome about.
Check out the video above: I break the whole Perfect Moms Finish Last 6-Week course down week-by-week. (It’s a long one, but a goodie!). If you’re feeling like this course might be for you, jump in quick— early registration ends at midnight tomorrow!
If YOU have questions about the course, post them here!
I’m excited to let you know that I will be the guest expert on a call with Momnificent’s Lori Radun on Wednesday, March 3rd at 10:30am PT/ 1:30pm ET. The call is part of her monthly Mom’s Club teleseminar series, which is full of fantastic resources to fuel your personal and professional growth as a mom.
Wednesday’s call is all about LEVERAGE. Because when you’re short on time (that’s all of us) and low on energy (helloooo!), you need to yield big results with little effort. Knowing how to leverage everything from your smartphone to your family members will help you maximize your two most precious resources— time and energy.
In our hour-long gab session, we’ll discuss how to automate, delegate and delete the things in life that drain you, making room for you to be more present with your children and work and have a more joyful life. We’ll tackle the negative mindsets and beliefs that keep people from getting the support they need, and how to overcome them. And we’ll talk about how doing less actually makes you more productive, and the myth of multi-tasking.
To learn more and to register for this teleclass, please visit http://www.tinyurl.com/marchmmc. Momnificent! will send you a reminder with the phone number and access code you will need to join me on this teleclass.
Shel Silverstein was one of my favorite childhood authors.
Even as a kid, I remember thinking that he was a ballsy dude, with his no-color illustrations and his hand-drawn typefaces.
His stories were some of my favorites then, but the themes have revealed themselves to me over the years in ways I couldn’t have understood as a child. Now as a mom, they’re a mirror I can use to examine my own life, and a blueprint for values I want to instill in my children.
One of my favorites then, and still now, is The Missing Piece. You know, the little guy that looks like a pizza pie with a slice missing that goes rolling through life on a quest to find someone to complete him? He has some bad dating experiences along the way— pieces that are too loose and fall out, pieces crack in his too-tight embrace, and a piece that’s too pointy and just plain hurts.
When he finally finds his “perfect fit,” he discovers that “perfection” means he can’t stop to talk to a worm, or smell a flower. He can’t even sing his happy song (because his mouth is full) and he thinks to himself:
“Aha, so that’s how it is.”
The little guy literally has an “Aha moment”. He figures out what so many of us have trouble seeing— that he’s okay the way he is. That within his perfectly-imperfect self lies everything he needs to lead a happy, fulfilled, super-awesome life.
If you’ve tried looking to your husband, your children, your job, your house or your brand-name diaper bag to make you happy, and nothing works, it’s time to look to Shel Silverstein for some guidance.
The Perfect Moms Finish Last 6-Week Course is all about giving you the keys to a life where you feel COMPLETE just as you are, where ALL PARTS of you are expressed and you don’t have to sweep parts of yourself under the rug.
You can talk to the worm AND smell the flower.
This is not about “having it all,” proving to the world that you can do everything so that you’re so exhausted you can barely stand.
It’s about embracing all the parts of you:
The part that wants to stomp in puddles with your kids, to watch worms, to peel off your raincoats, and make hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.
AND
The part that longs to write on a whiteboard, collaborate with colleagues, roll up your sleeves, and feel the thrill of the successful work project.
AND
The part that wants to travel with carry-on luggage only, to read The New Yorker, to put on a pair of skinny jeans and heels, have a beer and discuss politics.
All these parts don’t make you the “Perfect Mom”. They make you perfectly YOU. And if you can embrace who you are, just as you are, you’re on the path to Missing Piece-style fulfillment.
Join me on the preview callTHIS THURSDAY, February 25th at 10am PST/1pm EST, where I’ll be spilling all the details of my 6-week course and opening registration. I can’t wait to finally share the curriculum with you, and help you shed your Perfect Mom Disorder and embrace your multi-dimensional self.
If you’ve been following the Perfect Moms Finish Last Interview Series, you’ve heard me talk about Perfect Mom Disorder, the affliction that plagues most moms I know. We’re all obsessed with doing everything “the right way” and we obsess over even the tiniest decisions, afraid to make a mistake, afraid to let our guards down that we don’t have it all under control.
In this video, I reveal how PMD rears it’s ugly head in my life, and how I almost had a nervous breakdown producing the interview series I designed to help battle it! I’m sharing stuff I’ve never shared before about how difficult motherhood was for me in the beginning, why I started Mothercraft, and how all roads have lead me to write the Perfect Moms Finish Last 6-Week Course.
If any of this resonates with you, and you’re feeling a little PMD, you’ll want to register for the preview call I’ll be hosting on February 25th at 10a PT/1p ET. I’ll be unveiling the entire syllabus for all six weeks, and registration will open immediately after.
Plus, I’ll be announcing the grand prize for the “I Heart Organizing Giveaway”, and you must be registered for the call to be entered to win the grand prize!
What’s your Perfect Mom Disorder Story? Please send it to me, I’d love to hear how you overcome your PMD (or at least give it a try!).
Hi gang! This week, I wrote a guest post for a good cause. Head to Modern Mom to read my post, entitled “Return to the Kitchen,” all about how to get cooking with confidence. Then head over to Kelly Ripa’s Cake Off For A Cause from February 10th to the 19th. Why? Because Electrolux will donate $1 to the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund for every vote cast in the Cake Off. You will also get great tips on baking from Kelly and the Cake Boss himself. And don’t forget to enter to win an Electrolux Induction Range while you’re there!
Multitasking is a way of life for moms, but study after study warns of its perils— that it makes us less productive. That doing too many things makes us dumber. That… ummm, what was I saying?
Sorry, I was just checking my email.
Unfortunately, all this research does is add one more thing to the guilt heap for moms. When your “office” is a laptop at the kitchen table (which doubles as a Play-Doh workstation), and your kids need diapers changed, juice, more juice, and help extruding hot pink spaghetti from the Fun Factory, you’re lucky if you can focus on a task for more than two seconds, let alone get it done without multitasking.
And the worst part is, we attribute our inability to focus to “Mommy Brain!” How self-deprecating! Career, self-care, household, finances, marriage, relatives, friendships, and the round-the-clock needs of children… as if someone who did not have the brain of a mom could even come close to keeping all these balls in the air! Yeesh!
Multitasking is definitely a lifeline for moms, but there is a right and a wrong way to do it. Of course texting while driving to Mommy & Me is a bad idea (duh!), but there are other multitask combos that can make you more productive, decrease guilt and lower your stress level.
In Week Four of my upcoming “Perfect Moms Finish Last” 6-Week Course, I’ll share my system for multi-tasking the right way, and how to make use of all those tiny, unexpected bits of free time that crop up (waiting in the carpool line, at the doctor’s office…). Make sure you sign up for the preview call on Thursday, February 25th at 5:00pm Pacific/8:00pm Eastern to get the goods.
Here’s to playing Candy Land while you fold the laundry!
Carley Knobloch did a parent education presentation at our school. Our parents related well to Carley and the topic. She encouraged self-reflection and shared her experience as a mother. Her advice as a Life Coach encouraged parents to work on their parenting skills and to continue to be life long learners. We would love to have her back in the future for teacher training and more parent education workshops. Sincerely, — Sylvia Rath, Director, Little Village Nursery School
One of my favorites then, and still now, is The Missing Piece. You know, the little guy that looks like a pizza pie with a slice missing that goes rolling through life on a quest to find someone to complete him? He has some bad dating experiences along the way— pieces that are too loose and fall out, pieces crack in his too-tight embrace, and a piece that’s too pointy and just plain hurts.
