Stay beautiful while traveling with 3floz.com

Traveling with your favorite beauty products is a pain, no matter which way you slice it.  Either you’re squeezing lotions and potions into too-tiny bottles, crossing your fingers that you have enough serum or face scrub to make it through your trip, or you lug your full-sized bottles with you, and you’re the poor girl waiting for your baggage long after the carry-on crew has left the building.  Thankfully, the ladies at 3floz.com have a better way— they send you TSA-approved, travel sized bottles of your favorite high-end beauty products.  Have them shipped to your house so you can pack them before you leave, or send them to your destination so they’re waiting to make you beautiful when you get there.  3floz.com is proof that good things come in small, security-friendly packages.

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My computer is homesick

Ever since I arrived on the east coast, it takes every calendar entry and sets it 3 hours back, to west coast time.  And as if that wasn’t bad enough, the incorrect entry then syncs with my phone, where it gets set back another three hours. I have modified every setting, and Googled every possible explanation, but nothing has solved the problem. We missed the day-before-camp orientation by 3 hours and my poor kids showed up to an empty field with no counselors or campers to get acquainted with— ah, good times.

What’s your latest computer drama?  Share it with me here!

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Think your time-crunched? Think again.

Laura Vanderkam wants to help you make more of your week.  In our time-starved, crazybusy world, she’s uncovered a truth that is sometimes hard to swallow— we have plenty of time for the things that are important to us, we just suck at using our time well.

Yikes.

In 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think, Vanderkam makes her case gently yet powerfully— we all could be a lot better about identifying what’s important to us and making time to do it.  I sat down with her for an interview where she shares how the successful among us make better use of the 168 hours dispensed to all of us, and how we cane employ some of their best practices.

Here’s part one of our talk: Stay tuned for part two!

To download, control-click (MAC) or command-click (PC) the link above and select “Save this link as”.

UPDATE: Here’s Part Two of our talk!

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Memories and Bird Poop.

Yesterday, while I was creating the last couple videos for my new Digital Video Training Product, Sync or Swim Digital Photos, a bird flew into my office.

I swear, the sweetest little brown bird.

Somewhere on my hard drive is an outtake of me rambling on about ordering prints online, interrupted by a mad-woman shriek, followed by fits of giggles and screaming.  It was a total scene— me trying to shoo it out the door, my kids screaming helpful directions, and my dog cowering in the corner (pathetic— she’s a bird dog and everything).

After it was all over, my kids and I fell on the floor, laughing, panting and retelling the story.  And then I thought— man, I wish I had a picture of that crazy event!

I’m pretty sure that my brain has been irreparably damaged by the birth of my two children, love them as I do.  These days, if I don’t have a picture, memories slip into the abyss and are forgotten as quickly as they happen.

It’s not much different when you DO actually manage to get the picture, but it sits in a pile of hundreds of other pictures, and never gets organized or published.

It’s kinda like that zen quandary: “If a digital photo falls in the forest, and no one can find it, does it preserve a memory?”

It’s time to give our memories the respect they deserve: To curate them, to elevate them from a pile of gigabytes to a place of great value.  I mean, this is our life we’re talking about.

And the kicker is, it’s EASY to do once you learn how.  The tools you need don’t cost anything and they’re waiting to help you make sense of all your digital pictures.  You only have to decide that it’s time to stop stressing and start taking action.

If you’re tired of the piles of unorganized photos on your hard drive (or are they still on your camera?!),

If you’re feeling intimidated by the technology, and don’t know where to start,

If YOU want to be the one that has the coffee table full of those smart digital photo books,

then it’s time to wipe the bird poop off your computer and join me for a LIVE webinar tomorrow, May 19th at 10am PT/1p ET. I’ll be talking about:

• How to get pictures off your camera, and where to put them when you do
• Why Google Picasa is my program of choice for managing your pictures
• Some cool ways to get the most out of your pictures

PLUS, I’ll be launching Sync or Swim Digital Photos, my very first digital product that WALKS YOU THROUGH how to organize all your digital pictures, print photobooks, share online and more!  You’ll be able to ask me questions, and get answers about your digital photo quandries (if you STILL don’t get what a megapixel is, I’ll go over it again!).

If you can’t make it live, no biggie, sign up anyway and I’ll send you a recording that you can watch later.

Hope you’ll join me for a little Digital Photo therapy!

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From the desk of your inner-voice

(Warning, not supportive or pleasant.)

Dear you,

Everything’s great right now, right? Your husband’s a good guy, kids are healthy, there’s food on the table, and the house is clean enough so that no one sees the mess.  You should be so happy.

So why are you so frustrated and upset all the time?

Don’t you know how lucky you are to have all these choices?  That you’re able to pursue work or stay home if you want to?  No matter that it feels impossible to keep up, and like everyone else is doing it better.  There’s probably something wrong with you, and it’s better just to keep working at being “better”.

Maybe if you enrolled the kids in that karate class, or got that cute stroller, or picked up the toys more, or bought a sexy nursing bra, or lost 15 pounds, or started a meditation practice, or did more volunteer work, or learned how to use your digital camera, or started buying more organic groceries you’d feel like other people thought you were a better mom, and that might make you feel better.  If you need more ideas on how to improve, I’ll supply you with them throughout the day and night.  Happy to help.

Speaking of help, shouldn’t you know how to do this motherhood thing without assistance?  Look around— so many of your friends are doing just fine on their own.  Don’t bother anyone by asking them to share the load.  You don’t want anyone to know you’re struggling, do you? You might as well tattoo “failure” on your forehead!

And what’s with all the forgetfulness, the missed meetings, the tardiness and the broken promises?  Some people say you’re trying to do too much, but you and I both know that the more you “do” for your kids, the better a mother you’ll be, right?

Lastly, and I’ve told you this before, there is simply no time for your hobbies or passions right now.  How are you going to be a good mom to your kids when you’re off taking time for yourself, enjoying life, feeding your soul and nurturing your marriage and friendships? How selfish! No, all your thoughts and energy should be directed at your kids, and if you’re not working, you should be right there with them.

Oh, and you should really question what kind of mother you are if all of this isn’t fulfilling you— this is what you were born to do, so you better figure out how to enjoy it!

Thanks for listening (not that you have a choice).  It’s my job to remind you how crappy you are at being a mom.  Remember: Don’t ask for help and don’t look beyond motherhood for more.  You’ll be able to rediscover yourself in, like, 18 years or so.  You can wait ’til then, right?

With love and unrelenting criticism,

Your inner-voice.

I had the idea to write this email last night as I put the finishing touches on the Perfect Moms Finish Last 6-Week course, which starts tonight.  I don’t know a mom who doesn’t talk to herself like this: It’s so corrosive and only serves to push us down, rather than help us identify out our obstacles and overcome them.  Yet we all do it— we’re all so comfortable beating ourselves down, we don’t even need anyone else to help us out?
If you’re feeling like it’s time to put an end to this self-talk madness and really, REALLY get a handle on your life, it’s not too late to register for the course. There’s just one spot left, and I want it to be yours.  After that, you’ll miss this opportunity to get all the nuts-and-bolts systems I teach to transform your life and help you take control, as well as the remedies for your Perfect Mom Disorder.

Don’t let Mrs. Inner Voice talk you out of it.  NOW is the time to invest in yourself— your family will benefit tenfold from the improvements you make to your life.

http://www.perfectmomsfinishlast.com/go.

Hope to “see” you on tonight’s call.

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Is Perfect Mom Disorder Contagious?

I got this email from a mom not long after I launched The Perfect Moms Finish Last Interview Series:

“Carley— Is PMD contagious? Sometimes I’m okay doing what I want, and other times I’m racing around trying to keep up with my friends who have Perfect Mom Disorder, buying what they buy, doing what they do and listening to how they say I’m “supposed to” be parenting my children. Before we hit preschool, it was easier to trust myself, but now it feels like I’m *always* questioning my decisions.” — Jillian K.

Sadly, Jillian, it’s true. PMD is contagious. All the self-assurance in the world won’t inoculate you against the occasional affliction. Why? Because unlike an Ikea bookshelf or your PVR, there’s no instruction manual for motherhood, no way to know if you’re doing it right, and lots of opinions along the way to let you know that you suck at it.

Normally, this wouldn’t rattle you— you’re an intelligent, resourceful woman with a some degree of confidence, right? It’s just that raising your kids is kinda the most monumental, never-ending, mega-important job you’ll ever do. And, once you become a mom, it doesn’t seem to matter what else you’ve accomplished in your work and life: You are judged on how well you do that job above all others.

As a result, we’re all trying to validate our own choices by seeing what other moms are doing. Instead of looking inside ourselves, trusting our intuition and instinct, we’re all looking around, measuring ourselves against others. So what seemed like a solid decision when you made it can suddenly turn humiliating if you’re in the wrong company (Read: moms who have made a different decision than you– and aren’t shy about letting you know).

Listening to the interviews in the Perfect Moms Finish Last Interview Series is like a Z-Pak for your PMD. The personal stories and tips that these 20 fascinating moms share will give you a shot of inspiration for your life. According to these successful moms:

• It’s okay to say “no”
• You don’t always have to be “right
• It’s critical to take time for yourself (unless you enjoy fainting at business meetings and landing yourself in the hospital– true PMFL stories!)
• Pursuing great work outside the home is in the best interest of your kids
• It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about how you parent— you get to write all the rules, and you have the brains and intuition to do it.

(I think they’re on to something.)

These moms offer sage advice and share personal stories that will change how you think about your most-important job. Sign up now, grab all 20 interviews and start listening— Perfect Mom Disorder is like a Z-Pac for your PMD!

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Happy is the new Perfect

Bought the BPA-free bottles: Check.  Read Kiwi Magazine cover-to-cover: Good girl.  Did floor time for an hour and practiced baby signs: Ooh, bonus points.  Got an unexpected work call and had to turn on Baby Einstein for 8 1/2 minutes:  Bad mom! Bad, bad mom!

Why do moms think in such binary terms?  Why is it all-or-nothing— either we’ve earned the gold star, or we hang our heads in shame?  It’s no wonder many of us walk around feeling like failures 24/7… we leave ourselves no room for error, and our stay in “perfect” territory is always fleeting.  We’re so concerned with hanging on to our “Good Mom” title, that we often lose sight of the practical results of our actions: Are my kids happy and well cared for? Am I? This week, think about where you can relax the standards in your life and how you can be a little less “perfect” and a little more “happy.”  And, as always, I’d love to hear your story.

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why me-time isn’t always about me.

Yesterday, I attended the Women’s Conference in Long Beach, hosted by Maria Shriver.  14,000 women in a hangar-sized stadium— the estrogen was palpable!  I was tweeting like a mad woman all day, trying to capture memorable quotes and ideas as they came at me, sharing what I felt so privileged to be a part of.   As I strolled through the exhibitor village, I thought of alliances that my mompreneur clients could make with like-minded businesses.   Later, as I drove home, my mind raced with blog post ideas, and even the topic for today’s Juicebox.

Teaching is one of my core values— my whole life I have been someone who wants to share what I know.   But sometimes it’s hard for me to remember that I could have experienced the conference for my own benefit. You know, just for me?  What a concept!

For moms, the idea of selflessness is reinforced at every turn, and as much as we say we want more “me-time,” we all feel so much guilt and shame for wanting time for ourselves.  Who made these rules, anyway?  What other job on the planet demands a round-the-clock-for-the-rest-of-your-life attendance record?  It’s absurd, if you think about it.  We are not robots.   We all need time away to recharge so we can return to our families, inspired and energized.   Not because we don’t love our children, but because we do. I bet some of you can’t even imagine electing to spend a whole day away from your kids at a conference for pleasure.  I totally get it, cause I used to feel just like you.  But over time I learned that an hour, an afternoon, or a day here and there can make all the difference in what kind of parent I am at home, and what kind of woman I am in the world.

How are you doing on the me-time issue? Share your story with me, and inspire other moms to take a MOMent for themselves.

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why the XBox and I are now on speaking terms

The Beatles were a big deal in our house BEFORE they re-released all their albums and made a Rock Band game for the Xbox, but now, they’re, like BEYOND cool to my 8 and 4 year-old. It’s like they’re a legendary iconic musical group, or something! All weekend, we played Beatles Rock Band, and my kids poured over all the details— they can now tell you that George sings “Here Comes The Sun,” but Ringo sings “Octopus’ Garden”, and that Paul had a full beard when he sang “Don’t Let Me Down” on the roof of Apple Records. I put my son to bed tonight, and 30 minutes later, I sat outside his door while he sang “Hard Day’s Night” to himself, trying to master the melody and belt it (softly) like a rock-n-roller.  Cuteness Factor: 10.

My husband will have a good laugh when he reads this post, because I was LIVID about the Xbox entering our home (and I’ve threatened to toss it in the garbage several times). With TV, the computer and the Ninetendo DS all vying for my kids attention, I didn’t see the need for yet another “screen” to lure my kids away from me— and each other— on the weekends. Many too many negotiating sessions about “when” and “for how long” can they play have transpired, and many a tear has been shed when I’ve tried to pry the controls from their little hands.

And yet, and yet… there’s nothing sweeter to my music-loving ears than hearing my 3rd grader whisper, “But when I get home to you, I find the things that you do, they make me fee-eel, all-riiight.”

So, here’s what I’m thinking.  It is possible that the things we forbid our kids to do aren’t really about their best interests, but about our own fears?  For me, fear of having to set limitations played a factor— I knew that having the Xbox around would require me to set (and enforce) rules, and I really didn’t want to add more to my “bad cop mom” list.  But, if I had put my foot down about Mr. Xbox, we would have never experienced the greatest band of all time in such an engaging way.

In my coaching practice, I see so many issues play out just like this:  “We don’t eat sugar in our house.”  “My kids never watch TV.”  Of course, if these are values that are important to you, there’s nothing wrong with enforcing them.  But often the “we never” extremism is fueled by a fear of being unable to keep things under control.  Will I find myself in an avalanche of Oreos if I let one or two in?

As a mom, I am constantly in a strategy meeting with myself about this stuff.  I’m always looking for cracks in my logic. I believe that you grow into your role as a mom by understanding your own behavior and learning how to handle your own fears.  It’s okay to reconsider a heretofore firm stance on things like video games or donuts—flux and change are to be embraced, not just for our kids, but for us as parents too.  It’s not always about making the right decision first, but having the flexibility to reconsider, evolve and adapt.

What have you taken a hard line on with your family? Is there room for compomise? For facing your fears, and letting a little in?

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morning, afternoon, evening: at-a-glance printable.

As a follow up to my last post, I’ve uploaded the printable document I’ve created to help me stay organized in the morning (who has hot lunch, who has share day, what needs to be in the car when we leave), afternoon (don’t forget sheet music for band practice, tennis rackets on fridays, grab snack to eat on the way to baseball) and evening (chores, homework and assignments due, practice piano).

I intend to enlarge and laminate this and use it like a dry-erase board on my fridge, but you could print it as-is and use it as a weekly worksheet, keeping things calm and easy during those frantic times.

More worksheets to come… a chore chart is next in my house. Definitely let me know if there are things you’d like to see!

Click here to download the Week-at-a-Glance PDF.

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