If you could give advice to your pregnant, pre-kid self, what would you say?
During the summer I spent in the Great White North, I had the opportunity to be involved in a photo-shoot-turned-tear-jerker video project that asked that very question. When I smiled and held up my card, I had no idea what a powerful message would result when all our collective wisdom was strung together with music. Check out this beautiful video, masterminded by Scott Stratten from Unmarketing and Alison Kramer from Nummies. Thanks so much for including me. It was so fun to be a part of it!
If you could go back and talk to your pregnant self, what would you say? Let me know in comments!
Last weekend, I fixed a batch of my famous balsamic BBQ chicken wings, toasted a big ol’ loaf of garlic bread and watched the Oscars with some friends. The kids ran around and played while the grown-ups ogled the gowns and watched the acceptance speeches.
I marveled at what it must feel like to be up there on that stage, in front of millions, accepting an award. And how gracious everyone is about accepting the Oscar on behalf of all the people in their lives who made it possible for them to achieve. My mind wandered to where I was in my business this time last year, how far I’ve come, and how many people have helped me along the way.
Now that the Perfect Moms Finish Last launch is over, the class is sold out, and the first class has started, I wanted to give a shout-out to all the fabulous people on my team who have supported me and helped me bring my products and services to you.
(sniff) I promised myself I wouldn’t cry! (sniff!)
Rebecca Buscemi, professional and fun-to-work-with virtual assistant who set up the entire PMFL Blog for both the interview series and the course. (Twitter: rbuscemi)
Sawyer Hollenshead, my blog builder and all-around secret weapon. There’s nothing he can’t do with Wordpress, and he’s quick and professional to work with.
Lana Goldenberg, marketing strategist and my social media guru, she’s a whole lotta smarts in the sweetest package. She ran a Facebook Ads campaign that helped my “I Heart Organizing Giveaway” rock! (Twitter: lanagold)
The lovely Sarah Burns, all-knowing virtual assistant and fantastic blogger, who helped me architect my product launch and handled all the minutia of the I Heart Organizing Giveaway. (Twitter: SarahBHawaii)
Josh Schuyler at Every Angle Media, fearless audio engineer who put together all 20 PMFL interviews: He took dropped calls, interrupted interviews and some baa-aad sound quality and made it all sound amazing.
Jacqui Malouf, fabulous foodie, fellow Cannuck, great actress and even better friend— that’s her beautiful voice introducing me on all the PMFL interviews.
Nicole Dionne from Primal Scream Music who was kind enough to gift me the fabulous piece of music you hear on all the PMFL interviews (I begged her to let me have it!)
and
Amy Swift, Whitney Roberts & my SMARTY inner circle of support. You guys helped me take all the junk in my head and turn it into something amazing. If you hate networking and roll your eyes at most business coaches, you should check out SMARTY.
Everything’s great right now, right? Your husband’s a good guy, kids are healthy, there’s food on the table, and the house is clean enough so that no one sees the mess. You should be so happy.
So why are you so frustrated and upset all the time?
Don’t you know how lucky you are to have all these choices? That you’re able to pursue work or stay home if you want to? No matter that it feels impossible to keep up, and like everyone else is doing it better. There’s probably something wrong with you, and it’s better just to keep working at being “better”.
Maybe if you enrolled the kids in that karate class, or got that cute stroller, or picked up the toys more, or bought a sexy nursing bra, or lost 15 pounds, or started a meditation practice, or did more volunteer work, or learned how to use your digital camera, or started buying more organic groceries you’d feel like other people thought you were a better mom, and that might make you feel better. If you need more ideas on how to improve, I’ll supply you with them throughout the day and night. Happy to help.
Speaking of help, shouldn’t you know how to do this motherhood thing without assistance? Look around— so many of your friends are doing just fine on their own. Don’t bother anyone by asking them to share the load. You don’t want anyone to know you’re struggling, do you? You might as well tattoo “failure” on your forehead!
And what’s with all the forgetfulness, the missed meetings, the tardiness and the broken promises? Some people say you’re trying to do too much, but you and I both know that the more you “do” for your kids, the better a mother you’ll be, right?
Lastly, and I’ve told you this before, there is simply no time for your hobbies or passions right now. How are you going to be a good mom to your kids when you’re off taking time for yourself, enjoying life, feeding your soul and nurturing your marriage and friendships? How selfish! No, all your thoughts and energy should be directed at your kids, and if you’re not working, you should be right there with them.
Oh, and you should really question what kind of mother you are if all of this isn’t fulfilling you— this is what you were born to do, so you better figure out how to enjoy it!
Thanks for listening (not that you have a choice). It’s my job to remind you how crappy you are at being a mom. Remember: Don’t ask for help and don’t look beyond motherhood for more. You’ll be able to rediscover yourself in, like, 18 years or so. You can wait ’til then, right?
With love and unrelenting criticism,
Your inner-voice.
I had the idea to write this email last night as I put the finishing touches on the Perfect Moms Finish Last 6-Week course, which starts tonight. I don’t know a mom who doesn’t talk to herself like this: It’s so corrosive and only serves to push us down, rather than help us identify out our obstacles and overcome them. Yet we all do it— we’re all so comfortable beating ourselves down, we don’t even need anyone else to help us out?
If you’re feeling like it’s time to put an end to this self-talk madness and really, REALLY get a handle on your life, it’s not too late to register for the course.There’s just one spot left, and I want it to be yours. After that, you’ll miss this opportunity to get all the nuts-and-bolts systems I teach to transform your life and help you take control, as well as the remedies for your Perfect Mom Disorder.
Don’t let Mrs. Inner Voice talk you out of it. NOW is the time to invest in yourself— your family will benefit tenfold from the improvements you make to your life.
Cool Mom Picks, arbiter of all things indie/eco/uber chic for baby, has a great post today about Perfect Moms Finish Last. Liz Gumbinner, editor of CMP, was also a Perfect Moms Finish Last Interviewee, and you can listen to her amazing interview along with 19 others by signing up here. We talk about everything from Bugaboo backlash, to all the crap you don’t need to buy when you have a baby, to how she’s a “Type A woman, but a Type B mom.” (How does that work, anyway?) She was GREAT to talk to, and for someone who has had a pretty impressive career in advertising before heading to the interwebs, she was very down to earth (the tagline for her personal blog, Mom 101 reads, “I don’t know what I’m doing either.” Now THAT’S someone who has her Perfect Mom Disorder under control!)
Early registration prices for the course end at midnight TONIGHT, so if you’re thinkin’ you need to get a handle on your Perfect Mom Disorder, if you’re exhausted trying to keep up appearances and your search for that ever-elusive “balance,” jump in and be a part of this very intimate, very small 6-Week course.
“Hey Carley, is this Perfect Moms Finish Last 6-week Course a lot of motivational, inspirational hoo hah fluff? Or is it actually going to help me get my life and schedule under control and help me remember to get the milk?!”
Many of you have been asking me this same question, and it’s a good one— no one could argue that being a fulfilled, satisfied, happy mom is a good thing for everyone, but sometimes you’re not in the living-a-strong-life kind of place.
Sometimes, you’re just in the please-lord-let-me-make-it-through-dinner place. What you need then are solutions, not mommy mantras or inspirational tips.
Perfect Moms Finish Last gives you BOTH inspiration and practical systems in a nice little 6-week package. Because no matter how much “me-time” you’re getting, if you keep showing up late to school pick-up, or missing client calls, or staring at the same pile of dirty laundry for a week and a half, you’re going to feel like a FAILURE. And there’s nothing that sucks more than working as hard as you are only to feel like you’re not measuring up.
It’s time for some brand-new systems that can help you regain control of and simplify your life. Plus the inspirational “hoo hah” that puts you on a path to living a life you feel totally awesome about.
Check out the video above: I break the whole Perfect Moms Finish Last 6-Week course down week-by-week. (It’s a long one, but a goodie!). If you’re feeling like this course might be for you, jump in quick— early registration ends at midnight tomorrow!
If YOU have questions about the course, post them here!
Shel Silverstein was one of my favorite childhood authors.
Even as a kid, I remember thinking that he was a ballsy dude, with his no-color illustrations and his hand-drawn typefaces.
His stories were some of my favorites then, but the themes have revealed themselves to me over the years in ways I couldn’t have understood as a child. Now as a mom, they’re a mirror I can use to examine my own life, and a blueprint for values I want to instill in my children.
One of my favorites then, and still now, is The Missing Piece. You know, the little guy that looks like a pizza pie with a slice missing that goes rolling through life on a quest to find someone to complete him? He has some bad dating experiences along the way— pieces that are too loose and fall out, pieces crack in his too-tight embrace, and a piece that’s too pointy and just plain hurts.
When he finally finds his “perfect fit,” he discovers that “perfection” means he can’t stop to talk to a worm, or smell a flower. He can’t even sing his happy song (because his mouth is full) and he thinks to himself:
“Aha, so that’s how it is.”
The little guy literally has an “Aha moment”. He figures out what so many of us have trouble seeing— that he’s okay the way he is. That within his perfectly-imperfect self lies everything he needs to lead a happy, fulfilled, super-awesome life.
If you’ve tried looking to your husband, your children, your job, your house or your brand-name diaper bag to make you happy, and nothing works, it’s time to look to Shel Silverstein for some guidance.
The Perfect Moms Finish Last 6-Week Course is all about giving you the keys to a life where you feel COMPLETE just as you are, where ALL PARTS of you are expressed and you don’t have to sweep parts of yourself under the rug.
You can talk to the worm AND smell the flower.
This is not about “having it all,” proving to the world that you can do everything so that you’re so exhausted you can barely stand.
It’s about embracing all the parts of you:
The part that wants to stomp in puddles with your kids, to watch worms, to peel off your raincoats, and make hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.
AND
The part that longs to write on a whiteboard, collaborate with colleagues, roll up your sleeves, and feel the thrill of the successful work project.
AND
The part that wants to travel with carry-on luggage only, to read The New Yorker, to put on a pair of skinny jeans and heels, have a beer and discuss politics.
All these parts don’t make you the “Perfect Mom”. They make you perfectly YOU. And if you can embrace who you are, just as you are, you’re on the path to Missing Piece-style fulfillment.
Join me on the preview callTHIS THURSDAY, February 25th at 10am PST/1pm EST, where I’ll be spilling all the details of my 6-week course and opening registration. I can’t wait to finally share the curriculum with you, and help you shed your Perfect Mom Disorder and embrace your multi-dimensional self.
If you’ve been following the Perfect Moms Finish Last Interview Series, you’ve heard me talk about Perfect Mom Disorder, the affliction that plagues most moms I know. We’re all obsessed with doing everything “the right way” and we obsess over even the tiniest decisions, afraid to make a mistake, afraid to let our guards down that we don’t have it all under control.
In this video, I reveal how PMD rears it’s ugly head in my life, and how I almost had a nervous breakdown producing the interview series I designed to help battle it! I’m sharing stuff I’ve never shared before about how difficult motherhood was for me in the beginning, why I started Mothercraft, and how all roads have lead me to write the Perfect Moms Finish Last 6-Week Course.
If any of this resonates with you, and you’re feeling a little PMD, you’ll want to register for the preview call I’ll be hosting on February 25th at 10a PT/1p ET. I’ll be unveiling the entire syllabus for all six weeks, and registration will open immediately after.
Plus, I’ll be announcing the grand prize for the “I Heart Organizing Giveaway”, and you must be registered for the call to be entered to win the grand prize!
What’s your Perfect Mom Disorder Story? Please send it to me, I’d love to hear how you overcome your PMD (or at least give it a try!).
Multitasking is a way of life for moms, but study after study warns of its perils— that it makes us less productive. That doing too many things makes us dumber. That… ummm, what was I saying?
Sorry, I was just checking my email.
Unfortunately, all this research does is add one more thing to the guilt heap for moms. When your “office” is a laptop at the kitchen table (which doubles as a Play-Doh workstation), and your kids need diapers changed, juice, more juice, and help extruding hot pink spaghetti from the Fun Factory, you’re lucky if you can focus on a task for more than two seconds, let alone get it done without multitasking.
And the worst part is, we attribute our inability to focus to “Mommy Brain!” How self-deprecating! Career, self-care, household, finances, marriage, relatives, friendships, and the round-the-clock needs of children… as if someone who did not have the brain of a mom could even come close to keeping all these balls in the air! Yeesh!
Multitasking is definitely a lifeline for moms, but there is a right and a wrong way to do it. Of course texting while driving to Mommy & Me is a bad idea (duh!), but there are other multitask combos that can make you more productive, decrease guilt and lower your stress level.
In Week Four of my upcoming “Perfect Moms Finish Last” 6-Week Course, I’ll share my system for multi-tasking the right way, and how to make use of all those tiny, unexpected bits of free time that crop up (waiting in the carpool line, at the doctor’s office…). Make sure you sign up for the preview call on Thursday, February 25th at 5:00pm Pacific/8:00pm Eastern to get the goods.
Here’s to playing Candy Land while you fold the laundry!
The Perfect Moms Finish Last series was featured today on Vital Juice : Moms Edition. Vital Juice, a free daily e-mail newsletter and website, brings you the latest must-read information about fitness, nutrition, beauty and wellness. Imagine getting a tip every morning from your healthiest, always in-the-know friend! Vital Juice is all about maintaining a healthy body and mind, so it’s no surprise that they were into speading the word about PMFL, which is all about squashing the pressure to be “perfect” and living life as a healthier you.
It happens all the time. I’m browsing my favorite paper goods store or stationary dot com and suddenly, our eyes meet— it’s the perfect notebook. I saunter over, feigning interest in its shelf-mates— a fancy pen, a chic stapler— but ultimately the attraction is too strong.
I give in.
I pick it up.
I stroke it’s thick stack of virgin pages and begin fantastizing about the possibilities. I could chart my next project… I could plan my next vacation… I could make a list, and another and another…
Maybe you don’t geek out about list-making like I do, but there is something about a fresh notebook, planner or sticky pad that promises the beginning of a beautiful (and organized) relationship. February is the perfect time to fall in love with organizing products, so I reached out to the companies that make the products that I use every day to keep my life running smoothly… and holy cow, they’re helping me give prizes away every weekday in February on The Juicebox Facebook Fan Page!
Each weekday, I’ll ask you a fun question about how you stay organized (or try to)! Answer the question by commenting before midnight and you’re entered to win that day’s prize! Each day’s winner will be chosen at random, and announced the following day (Only one answer per day).
Receive an extra entry for “sharing” the question on your own Facebook page. (Leave an extra comment on my Facebook page, under that day’s giveaway, letting me know that you shared. Only one extra entry per giveaway allowed.)
As if this wasn’t totally awesome enough, there’s a Grand Prize! I’ll be giving away a mondo pile of organization products at the end of the month on a free teleconference I’ll be hosting about my new Perfect Moms Finish Last 6-Week Course. If you’re registered for the call, you’ll be entered to win that too! (Details coming soon).
Prize Calendar
Here’s what you can win… try not to drool on your keyboard!
Unique week-at-view format with space for mom and up to four children. Features monthly views too. Featuring the momEssentials pamphlet that can be removed and reused from year to year. 6 stylish, stain-resistant colors (subject to availability): Fuchsia, Royal Blue, Tangerine, Chocolate, Lime, and True Purple.
This fun little coupon book has 20 cleverly illustrated coupons that enable you to lighten the load of someone you love – mom, dad, roommate, or friend. The set includes coupons for everyday tasks like taking out the trash, doing the laundry, and running the errands.
Julie designed this unique planning system to give you a personal coach within every page so that you can plan your days realistically and feel excited, rather than overwhelmed, when you wake up. It will help you stay on track all day long, so you get the right things done and feel satisfied when you go to sleep at night. It will help you create days that are meaningful and rewarding to you and teach you how to connect each of your daily activities to your big-picture goals.
Pear Budget is a tool for really simple budgeting. Created originally as a spreadsheet to help track the co-founder’s spending, tt was downloaded over 100,000 times, and was written up in the Wall Street Journal, Popular Science, and dozens of popular websites and blogs. It’s the simplest budgeting and expense tracking tool on the internet.
You can probably think of a thousand things you’d rather do than drive to the store again and again for toilet paper, toothpaste, trash bags and the dozens of other home essentials that keep your home running. Enter Alice! You tell Alice what you buy—choosing from great deals on 1000’s of products—and Alice goes to work. We organize all of your products, find coupons and deals for you, remind you when you might be running low, and help you order just the items you need so you can avoid that trip to the corner drugstore or the big-box store. And all this convenience comes direct to your door with free shipping included!
Erin Condren creates beautiful personalized paper products to help you stay organized and look great doing it. Family planners, gift labels, notepads, labels and calendars, all in her signature cheery colors and personalized for you and your family.
Russell and Hazel makes some of the most gorgeous paper products around, and you won’t find me without one of their notebooks or sticky pads to collect all my ideas. Get tons of planning power in a a little package with the Mini SmartDate Set. Includes your choice of Mini Binder (colors subject to availability) with Mini Month Tabs with full calendar view, Weekly Planner Sheets and a set of Daily Adhesive Notes.
Fine Print List Pads transform the standard notepad into a virtual powerhouse of thought-gathering potential, and with this handy list maker, compiling a to-do list has never been easier. What’s more, with a touch of wit and lots of sophistication, these pads lend style to all your jotting, scratching, and scrawling.
The Clarity Calendar is a weekly planner that tracks multiple family members all in the same view (color coded for each family member). View your entire week in one easy snapshot, plush portability, style and a tough-as-nails vinyl cover to protect your agenda.
Pocket size notebook. The pages are divided by AM and PM. The left hand side of an open page has a graphic of a white clock which represents AM and on the right hand side has a dark clock which represents PM. Simple but functional, new way to plan your day out.
You can probably think of a thousand things you’d rather do than drive to the store again and again for toilet paper, toothpaste, trash bags and the dozens of other home essentials that keep your home running. Enter Alice! You tell Alice what you buy—choosing from great deals on 1000’s of products—and Alice goes to work. We organize all of your products, find coupons and deals for you, remind you when you might be running low, and help you order just the items you need so you can avoid that trip to the corner drugstore or the big-box store. And all this convenience comes direct to your door with free shipping included!
With schedules as cram-packed as they are these days, it’s no wonder family members often feel like ships passing in the night. Use the CatchUp.pad to share a virtual hug, relay an important message or two, or otherwise just bring someone up to speed on the goings-on.
02/17 : The Organized Parent Package
Three fabulously coordinated and invaluable items from The Organized Parent, a website dedicated to providing great tips and helpful products to keep your life running smoothly. This prize includes: The tote (shown), The Address and Card Organizer, and Designer Sticky Notes, all in pretty pink “Henry Road” pattern.
The Clutter Diet: The Skinny on Organizing Your Home and Taking Control of Your Life by Lorie Marrero. This book will get your house in shape! Applying just an ounce of the advice in this practical guide saves you enough time and money to pay for itself. You will learn: The actual scientific law of nature that helps you get organized, the cure for procrastination, ten types of High Calorie Clutter to avoid, where to start and how to tackle your projects and how to successfully add new habits into your life.
Pocket size notebook. The pages are divided by AM and PM. The left hand side of an open page has a graphic of a white clock which represents AM and on the right hand side has a dark clock which represents PM. Simple but functional, new way to plan your day out.
The How Do I Do It? notebook: A soon to be indispensable companion for every woman with more than one thing to remember at a time. A portable control center for even the most overwhelmed head of even the busiest household. Organize all of your “to do’s” by our signature Shop/Call/Do color-coding and prioritize tasks by days of the week. Plus side folders for keeping important notes and lists.
This and That Pocket Notes take portable note taking to a whole new level, harnessing lines and grids to bring color and sophistication to all your random musings—not to mention their durable covers make them perfect companions for your purse or back pocket.
Never forget a birthday again! It feels great to connect with someone on their special day. But the challenge is to actually remember all those birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions in the hurly burly of everyday life. The Birthday.book from Buttoned Up functions as an extended memory bank for all of those people you want to remember on a particular date. Because it’s paper-based, it’s super-easy to use, and will never go bad or accidentally delete the records.
You can probably think of a thousand things you’d rather do than drive to the store again and again for toilet paper, toothpaste, trash bags and the dozens of other home essentials that keep your home running. Enter Alice! You tell Alice what you buy—choosing from great deals on 1000’s of products—and Alice goes to work. We organize all of your products, find coupons and deals for you, remind you when you might be running low, and help you order just the items you need so you can avoid that trip to the corner drugstore or the big-box store. And all this convenience comes direct to your door with free shipping included!
The Custom Neat Freak Combo makes home organization easy with several popular labels for storage, sundries and spices packaged in one convenient combo. And because every household is different, each label in this combo can be personalized with any text you want! A pack of 30 Bin Labels, 16 Canister Labels (pictured) and 52 Spice Labels.
GRAND PRIZE
Annual Membership to Clutterdiet.com
The Clutter Diet® is an innovative online program that helps you “Get Your House in Shape!”® by providing unlimited, direct, personal access to a team of Certified Professional Organizers® for about the price of a pizza. Weekly project plans, hours of audio content and multimedia tutorials, bonus workbooks, and hundreds of searchable articles allow you to get organized online with the pros. There is even a monthly members-only Q&A webinar included with founder Lorie Marrero, along with special member discounts and other features.
We’ve piled more on our plates today than ever before—yet asking for help can be difficult. You’ll be amazed how much more you can cross off your list by enlisting the help of others via the WouldYou.pad. The request has already been made for you, all you have to do is fill in the appropriate blanks and highlight your overall level of gratitude! A perfect addition to kitchen counters everywhere.
Pocket size notebook. The pages are divided by AM and PM. The left hand side of an open page has a graphic of a white clock which represents AM and on the right hand side has a dark clock which represents PM. Simple but functional, new way to plan your day out.
$10 Alice.com New Customer Coupon
You can probably think of a thousand things you’d rather do than drive to the store again and again for toilet paper, toothpaste, trash bags and the dozens of other home essentials that keep your home running. Enter Alice! You tell Alice what you buy—choosing from great deals on 1000’s of products—and Alice goes to work. We organize all of your products, find coupons and deals for you, remind you when you might be running low, and help you order just the items you need so you can avoid that trip to the corner drugstore or the big-box store. And all this convenience comes direct to your door with free shipping included!
Erin Condren $50 Gift Card
Erin Condren creates beautiful personalized paper products to help you stay organized and look great doing it. Family planners, gift labels, notepads, labels and calendars, all in her signature cheery colors and personalized for you and your family.
Fine Print:
Winners will be picked randomly. You must have a working email address and phone number to accept the prize. All standard rules and regulations apply. This is not transferable. If at any time you violate the rules in the agreement we have the right to revoke the prize.
* We never add you to our mailing list, sell it ,or give it away. You do not need to give us your mailing info unless you win.
* No purchase is necessary to enter any giveaway.
* You must be a*facebook fan* to be eligible for our facebook giveaways.
* One entry per mailing address, except for when you qualify for extra entries.
* You must be 18 years of age to enter any of our giveaways.
* You must be willing to give us your full name, address, and phone number if you are the winner
* We select winner(s) via random.org and will contact the winner via the email address they have given us. The winner has 4 days to respond and we will only attempt to email twice. If we have not heard from the winner within 4 days we will select another winner via random.org. We are not responsible for our emails going into your junk folder.
* we will announce the winners name on our facebook and twitter accounts- if you do not want your name published please do not enter.
* We will share your name and mailing address if another company is sponsoring the giveaway and are shipping the merchandise (for shipping purposes only). We not responsible for third party privacy rules. We *never* share the non-winners’ information, even with a sponsor.
* Specific rules stated in individual giveaways apply.
Mothercraft reserves the right to change or alter these rules at any time, so check back often.
I love Carley’s wisdom. Her advice resonated with me in a deep way. I know that her suggestions are exactly what I must do to be successful and have balance. From her advice, I am looking at how to set boundaries, and be intentional and disciplined with my time for work, and time for family. She reminded me that my time is finite, so I don’t want to let my work time bleed into my family time… which I tend to do! — Melissa Taylor, Writer & Educator, Imagination Soup
One of my favorites then, and still now, is The Missing Piece. You know, the little guy that looks like a pizza pie with a slice missing that goes rolling through life on a quest to find someone to complete him? He has some bad dating experiences along the way— pieces that are too loose and fall out, pieces crack in his too-tight embrace, and a piece that’s too pointy and just plain hurts.
